AKA, Your Kink is Not My Kink, But Your Kink…is Still Not a Kink, It’s a Paraphilia. Look.   This isn’t an attack on diaper-wearing, monkey-loving, rule 34-waving gym-sock-suckers.   All of that is cool.   No, really.   My cynical, sarcastic phrasing aside, it’s cool.   Go ahead; let your freak flag (privately) fly.   Have your cake, and stick yourself into it too.   Lick the frosting off someone’s toes.   That’s awesome – you’re participating in the American ideal:   Freedom

AKA The Difference between Safety and Stalking. Lots of questions, intelligent ones, about my previous pieces on vetting, “How Does Vetting Work, AKA How Cyber-Stalking Saved Your Life”.   And please, for the love of Pete, keep asking the questions.  I love intelligent questions, even if they disagree with my stance.  It shows that there are people out there thinking, considering, and growing, rather than just flaming.   (I get flames too, and I’m not nearly as delicious as a

I’ve seen a few of these online, on Facebook and Fetlife.   So I decided to write my own, and see what rattles the tree.   I actually receive indignant emails about "And So I'm the Bad Guy...” from people who followed from Google or FL.    Because, you know, anonymous people online cursing at me is going to be uber-successful in converting me “back into the fold”.   That said.   Please DeFriend me:  1.  If you demand that I respect your kinks, your politics, your sexual prefe

I’ve read a lot of blowback generated against the Don’t Stick Your Dick in Crazy (Or Let it Stick Its Dick In You) concept.    So far, the overwhelming majority of it comes from those who have either suffered mental illness themselves or partnered with those who have.    There is a wide spread array of responses, most boiling down to “DSYDIC is an unfair attack against people who are different,” or “How dare you not stick your dick in crazy, they have rights too!”   The ones

We're writing this one, because we just feel that they don't get enough love. Things for busting on boy bits, anyway. Good tips and tools for CBT to remember: Long canes are a BAD idea. Seriously. No fine control. Short range Whips require a lot of practice. We've known a few Pro Dommes who learned by practicing with oranges and apples. There's nothing so terrifying as a whip cracking a few inches from your manhood. Just be sure to keep it from getting too close - the air dis

I get this comment a lot at shows, and recently just got it on a review ... and I think it's now come to where it bears responding to. Because it has been slowly building from entertaining, to irritating, to now...insulting. We make hardwood paddles and canes, because we love wood. We love working with it, going with the grain, oiling and finishing, staining or lacquering, smoothing and shaping or machining...it's kind of our thing. So when someone looks over it, sneers and m

(or how Cyber-Stalking Saved your Life) Today’s rant is brought to you by the folks who have emailed me asking me how vetting works, and how they can start vetting play partners and other groups.    When I first wrote about Vetting, I assumed that it was common sense.   I ranted blindly (or without my contacts on, anyway) about how everyone should be Vetting their partners, parties, and penis-pin-cushions.    It flew over my (surprisingly tall) head that I once had to be taug

"Vetting: The process, within underground communities, of verifying information about a person through trusted impartial sources. Verified information should (at least) include the person’s experiences, sanity, penis size, STD status, attendance of claimed events, status of vaginal barbering, reputation for outing others, observations of actual skill levels, drama-rating (on a scale of 1 to HELLsNO), breakfast preferences, and humorous anecdotes. " Cassie received a message t

(The ORIGINAL, over 500k likes/loves on blogger, over 30k on K&P, Stolen Shamelessly from Kenova's Member's Only Blog) The best way I’ve heard submission described was at M/s conference in 08. Submission is not following your Master. It is preceding him, clearing the path, and reporting back to him on any pitfalls or problems you see ahead. It is trusting him, to guide and navigate, to keep you safe. The most common way I’ve heard Dominance described uses words that I wouldn’