parenting is a joy, as all parents know - it's a headache, a pain in the neck, and the spine, and occasionally the genitals (they WILL run headfirst into ANYTHING). But there are also moments of joy, especially with two child aspie-s. (aspergers) At Home, Morning Daughter: "Daddy, I wanna go to the steak place with the clams." Cassie: "I didn't know you liked clams, girlie? Kenova: "I guess you could say she digs clams. She's a 'clam-digger'. " Cassie: smacks Kenova Cassi

“A paraphilia must be distinguished from the non-pathological use of sexual fantasies, behaviors or objects as a stimulus for sexual excitement in individuals without a Paraphilia.   Fantasies, behaviors or objects are paraphilic only when they lead to a clinically significant distress or impairment (e.g., are obligatory, result in sexual dysfunction, require participation of non-consenting individuals, lead to legal complications, interfere with social relationships). “   (D

Amish Paradise, yo.   In all seriousness, someone asked me on my blog what I think the most important thing is for a new Dominant.    Having written a “newbie Dominant” post a few months ago, I considered just sending back an email with a link, but that seemed disrespectful. The man took the time to ask me a genuine question – I owe him an authentic (if not as witty as usual) answer.  Should I tell him to invest in rope?   Find a good local mentor?   Only use water-based lub

AKA – No, You Are Not Lord High Master Sparkly Britches I’m sorry.   This one has been coming for a while, and I keep taking it down to tame it.   To clean it up.   To get some of the ranty taste out of it.  Because I don’t want this to be a curse-filled rant (which it was), ripping new people a new orifice (which it did) for not knowing any better (which they don’t – mostly.) But seriously?    A 21-year-old who identifies as a Master, and identifies himself  as Master <NAME>

1. First Aid and CPR. At an event, at the very least, the DM and host should know basic first aid and CPR. (Most of them won’t, be aware.) If you intend to be a worthwhile Dominant, then YOU should know it too. And by “basic”, I don’t mean “we can haz bandajez?”. And by “know it”, I mean you should be an American Red Cross (or military/LEO, or similar organization) certified practitioner. As a former instructor (and once upon a time, a first responder) please believe me – the

AKA, Your Kink is Not My Kink, But Your Kink…is Still Not a Kink, It’s a Paraphilia. Look.   This isn’t an attack on diaper-wearing, monkey-loving, rule 34-waving gym-sock-suckers.   All of that is cool.   No, really.   My cynical, sarcastic phrasing aside, it’s cool.   Go ahead; let your freak flag (privately) fly.   Have your cake, and stick yourself into it too.   Lick the frosting off someone’s toes.   That’s awesome – you’re participating in the American ideal:   Freedom

AKA The Difference between Safety and Stalking. Lots of questions, intelligent ones, about my previous pieces on vetting, “How Does Vetting Work, AKA How Cyber-Stalking Saved Your Life”.   And please, for the love of Pete, keep asking the questions.  I love intelligent questions, even if they disagree with my stance.  It shows that there are people out there thinking, considering, and growing, rather than just flaming.   (I get flames too, and I’m not nearly as delicious as a

I’ve read a lot of blowback generated against the Don’t Stick Your Dick in Crazy (Or Let it Stick Its Dick In You) concept.    So far, the overwhelming majority of it comes from those who have either suffered mental illness themselves or partnered with those who have.    There is a wide spread array of responses, most boiling down to “DSYDIC is an unfair attack against people who are different,” or “How dare you not stick your dick in crazy, they have rights too!”   The ones

We're writing this one, because we just feel that they don't get enough love. Things for busting on boy bits, anyway. Good tips and tools for CBT to remember: Long canes are a BAD idea. Seriously. No fine control. Short range Whips require a lot of practice. We've known a few Pro Dommes who learned by practicing with oranges and apples. There's nothing so terrifying as a whip cracking a few inches from your manhood. Just be sure to keep it from getting too close - the air dis