So, things to consider.   All wise-ass-ery aside.  (except for some.   Because I'm, you know, Kenova.  The asshole - but having a beard makes up for it.  Ask half the girls I've spanked.) Rule 1.   If you post it, they will come. They are web crawlers, and post it, meaning put it out there, anywhere.   On your phone.  On a private server.  In an IM to friends one-on-one.  On a memorial site, ten years ago.  In an article that some grandmothers eventually scanned as part of sc

So, I had the experience of taking my daughter shopping for panties today. Understand - I was her single father, Dad, for the first three or four years of her life, until my girl (the collared, marriage-ish one) came into our lives. I tell myself I should be able to handle this, no problem. Right? Good. I'm a cop.   I have a gun.   I've been shot at.    I've been stabbed.  I can handle a little underwear shopping. Yeah. Not so much. Fucking panties.   Underwear shopping shoul

I took a class recently on impact play (every good teacher should also be a student) and came away with some good and some bad.    Mostly bad.  The bad "triggered" me.   It caused my "triggers" to... uh... trigger.   Fingered.   Whatever.   (Sorry, had to do it...the "trigger" phenomenon is just so snark-worthy.  Triggers exist.  90% of what people call triggers aren't.  They are better known as "I'm too immature to be responsible for my feelings...you do it for me!") ahem .

1.    There is more to life than Fetlife.   No matter how many times you check the site, you are not going to be blasted by some blazingly new enlightenment about yourself, or swamped by a ton of sexy bits who suddenly want a taste of you.   Get your ass off of the computer for at least four hours a week - by going to a munch, a class, or a play party. 2.   There is MORE to life than FETLIFE.     If you are basing your opinions on people, fetishes, situations, or claims of...

First – this letter is going nowhere, until my daughter (and probably an edit for my son) reaches the age of leatherly consent.   Ie, when she’s an adult and I’m no longer freaking out about every boy she looks at.  (Thank God that only entails Justin Bieber, Thor and Superman right now.  Although she’s eyeing up Rainbow Dash, so maybe it’s a bi thing.  I would be okay with a human Rainbow Dash.   Just please God, not Rarity.) This is a letter that’s going to take me at least

Porsches are fast, but they suck gas like a whore when the rent’s due.   Mini-vans have great interior room, but they’re “conformist”.   Muscle cars look great and sound great – but you’ll have to do tons of maintenance.   Canes are tools.   So are paddles.   And spreader bars, and bondage furniture, and vibrators and all the other lovely toys we use in our lifestyle.   They have a specific use, a range of sensations they can cover, and a set lifetime.   See if you buy the ch

Begin any paddling session with a bare hand (or softer toy) warm-up.   Unless you are playing with (or are yourself) a heavy masochist, the bottom will appreciate the warm-up, and you’ll enjoy the time getting intimate and familiar with their anatomy.  Safe Word, Safe Word, Safe Word.    When you’ve played with someone for years, you can play without some kind of safe word they can use to tell you to stop.   It’s your job to judge their feedback to know how fast or slow to go

Knife Play – What should you pack (other than the knives)?  These days, everyone’s got their little kits and their little toy bags – and believe it or not, that’s a good thing.   You can pick up a toiletry or makeup box at any Walmart or Target for less than $10, and have everything you need for an entire fetish ready to go to town.   But while you’re packing the toys, don’t forget a few others things for your knife play…   Rubbing Alcohol This should be a no brainer, but the

Today’s rant is brought to you by the letters E, and R.   No, seriously.   E, and R.   Like, the place your partner goes if you have nothing but band aids and booboo cream rattling around in your toy bag. Between the job (law enforcement) and teaching (unarmed defensive tactics, offensive blade combatives, bdsm knife play & rough body play) and playtime in our lifestyle, I keep seeing the oddest combinations of medical kits.    See, this just hit me, while I was vending not l