UPDATED LINKS for 2025

So, things to consider.   All wise-ass-ery aside.  (except for some.   Because I'm, you know, Kenova.  The asshole - but having a beard makes up for it.  Ask half the girls I've spanked.) Rule 1.   If you post it, they will come. They are web crawlers, and post it, meaning put it out there, anywhere.   On your phone.  On a private server.  In an IM to friends one-on-one.  On a memorial site, ten years ago.  In an article that some grandmothers eventually scanned as part of sc

I took a class recently on impact play (every good teacher should also be a student) and came away with some good and some bad.    Mostly bad.  The bad "triggered" me.   It caused my "triggers" to... uh... trigger.   Fingered.   Whatever.   (Sorry, had to do it...the "trigger" phenomenon is just so snark-worthy.  Triggers exist.  90% of what people call triggers aren't.  They are better known as "I'm too immature to be responsible for my feelings...you do it for me!") ahem .

1.    There is more to life than Fetlife.   No matter how many times you check the site, you are not going to be blasted by some blazingly new enlightenment about yourself, or swamped by a ton of sexy bits who suddenly want a taste of you.   Get your ass off of the computer for at least four hours a week - by going to a munch, a class, or a play party. 2.   There is MORE to life than FETLIFE.     If you are basing your opinions on people, fetishes, situations, or claims of...

“A paraphilia must be distinguished from the non-pathological use of sexual fantasies, behaviors or objects as a stimulus for sexual excitement in individuals without a Paraphilia.   Fantasies, behaviors or objects are paraphilic only when they lead to a clinically significant distress or impairment (e.g., are obligatory, result in sexual dysfunction, require participation of non-consenting individuals, lead to legal complications, interfere with social relationships). “   (D

AKA, Your Kink is Not My Kink, But Your Kink…is Still Not a Kink, It’s a Paraphilia. Look.   This isn’t an attack on diaper-wearing, monkey-loving, rule 34-waving gym-sock-suckers.   All of that is cool.   No, really.   My cynical, sarcastic phrasing aside, it’s cool.   Go ahead; let your freak flag (privately) fly.   Have your cake, and stick yourself into it too.   Lick the frosting off someone’s toes.   That’s awesome – you’re participating in the American ideal:   Freedom

I’ve read a lot of blowback generated against the Don’t Stick Your Dick in Crazy (Or Let it Stick Its Dick In You) concept.    So far, the overwhelming majority of it comes from those who have either suffered mental illness themselves or partnered with those who have.    There is a wide spread array of responses, most boiling down to “DSYDIC is an unfair attack against people who are different,” or “How dare you not stick your dick in crazy, they have rights too!”   The ones