What’s in your Dungeon?

AKA – Dr. Seuss and Kinky Emergencies

So to start…a VERY bad Dr. Seuss imitation.   Because Dr. Seuss is awesome.    

Have you done many dungeons, or played in play places?  

Seen a bunch of black benches, or congregations of cages?  

I bet you’ve seen walls upon walls of wondrous whips,

And all other manner of toys on your many night trips,

Canes, crackers, and floggers, all hanging on hooks;

And a bookshelf or two of nighttime picture books!

But what aren’t you seeing, what should always be there,

What you should look for (or should bring a spare),

Is a bag of the things that are listed below -

Or don’t then – ignore me; How would I know?      

In the wake of COVID and all the weather emergencies the last few years, this topic is gonna seem a little tart.   Hopefully, you’ve already heard it.    Probably not this vinegary, though.  

Because the concept of preparing for emergencies, in my generation?   We suck.  We really, REALLY suck.  And that’s not a buck we get to pass along to the Government, either.   PEMA?   FEMA?   Ready.Gov, ReadyPA?    They did an incredible job with what they had.

I watched a neighbor set up his Halloween tombstone decorations while waiting for a hurricane-level storm.   Just left them out to become tombstone missiles.   I saw a woman open her windows to “equalize the pressure” (tip:  That really doesn’t freaking work – guess who’s buying new windows?).  

I watched as people stocked up on BLATANTLY stupid things.   Portable DVD players, movies, a plug-in space heater, and worse – bought for a loss-of-power emergency.    I bit my tongue as my future father-in-law searched on EBAY(!) for a portable generator, a few hours before the storm was due.   I saw SHELVES full of the RIGHT things for an emergency, sitting on sale.  

So.  My point.   This is aimed at my generation.   Although newer kinksters should consider it, and maybe experienced heads will find something worthwhile in here.  

Because the same level of preparation we gave Sandy, prior to a dungeon party?   That leads us to the news.   Maybe nothing will happen.  Maybe you’ll make the news.  “BDSM related Death (News at 11)”.  

And the kicker?   Being prepared?   Really cheap, in comparison.

These are some of the things you need in your emergency bag.   Or if you are playing at a dungeon that you don’t know already has them…bring your own.

1.   An emergency blanket or a good micro-fiber blanket.    

For some people, coming down from play can mimic some symptoms of systemic shock (extreme thirst, temperature drop, shakes).    Have a warm, soft, easily washable (bleach-safe, bodily-fluid-resistant) blanket.    Size large, or bigger if you like playing with big boys and girls.    If you’ve had a class on first aid (and you SHOULD have, if you intend to be a Top worth playing with), then you know what to do when someone is shivery and thirsty.  

2.   Water bottles.  

Note – don’t try to be clever and pack a Brita filter bottle.   There’s zero guarantee that you’ll have access to potable water when you need it.   And you shouldn’t leave a dropping sub to refill it, either.   Pack a few 1-liter bottles – water goes fast.  

3. Chocolate, pretzels, or another quick source of sugar or carbs.  

Skip nuts, fruit, or granola—too many people have allergies, and you don’t want to trigger a reaction after otherwise fun play. An allergy is a quick trip to a cold shower, and rarely part of “pre-play” talks.  

4.   A medical kit.  

A real one, not a cheap Wal-Mart version that packs Band-Aids and ouch-less Bactine.   The Red Cross offers pretty decent ones for the home, about the size of a throw pillow, with the important bits and a book of tips.   And do yourself a favor – take it out of the box and actually look through it.   Read the booklet.   If there are things in there you don’t recognize – Google is your friend.

5.   Scissors.  

EVERY rigger should know this, but every player, regardless, should have these.   Get a good pair of kitchen shears, the kind intended to cut rope or twine.   When someone is crashing in the middle of a scene?   Yeah, that’s not a good time to saw at their ropes with a cheap pair of scissors.   And no, a pocket knife won’t work.   Approaching a crashing bottom with a knife?  

Yeah…sounds like a great idea.  Really.  

Maybe it works.   Maybe they have nightmares about knives for months after.   Why risk it?   Nobody ever had a nightmare about Suzie-Home-maker’s kitchen shears.    (Shut up.   Yes, I know Stephen King, R.L. Stine, or whoever has probably written a book about kitchen shears.  Shut it.  I’ve a slap in my pocket with your name on it, heckler.)        

6.   Sorted pre-packaged pills.  

No, not Viagra and Cialis.   (Definitely not roofies, either.)   Pre-sealed, for everyone’s peace of mind.   You’ll want a few antacids, a few Tylenol (or generic), a few Aleve (or generic), and a few Midol (don’t cheap out on the generic here.)    Rough play can cause acid reflux, heavy exertion can cause headaches, swinging a flogger for an hour can kill any Top’s back, and the last one…well, that should be obvious.    

And while you’re at CVS getting this stuff?   Get some “feminine supplies”.   The physical stress of a good play session can actually kick off a period early – and nobody ever said a woman on her period won’t want a good beating too.  

7.   Bath robes.  

Yes, bath robes.    Think.   They cover you when you’re cold.   They comfort you when you’re shaky.   And what if wondering eyes should appear?   They’re a lot more useful than a sleigh and 8 tiny reindeer.  (I’m in a Christmas-y mood, okay?)      Bath robes take kinky, nasty fetish wear and cover it quickly.  

Ever noticed that 90% of fetish gear can fit under a bathrobe?

Yep.   The girl (Cassie) and I have answered the door to neighbors, census takers, and at least one cop in bathrobes, with leather and latex bits underneath.    A bathrobe at Walmart is $10.   Hiding your kink quickly?   Priceless.  

8.   Gloves.   And Chemicals.  (Not Chloroform, you wankers.)  

Get real gloves, 4+mils thick, not cheap gloves.   Think medical supply, not dollar store.   And a virucidal cleanser.   Because cleaning up bodily fluids should be done with gloves and chemicals, not with a cotton towel that will be used again.    In our lifestyle, we almost always spill blood.   It’s a given.   Maybe you know everyone's health status at the party.   Maybe you don’t.   Zero risk means doing it right the first time, every time.  

Note…cleaning sex toys is different than cleaning play furniture.   Virucidal cleansers are great for cleaning most leather, wood, and metal sex furniture.   I wouldn’t use them on sex toys – they’ll degrade (in most cases) the toy.   Use purpose-specific cleansers for those.

9.   LED flashlights with fresh batteries.  

Don’t try to replace this with candles, either.    The temptation to use them for fun will guarantee that there won’t be any in the bag when you need them.   Personal experience talking here.    

I’ve had the power go out at a play party. It was…interesting, searching for the door and a light. Have a flashlight in your bag. Less embarrassing.    

10.   Sharps container.    

 There are things that cut, stab, stain, and bleed during most of our kinds of play.   When you’re done with #8, or if you’re volunteering to help clean up a scene, you’ll want this.   You can find a good sharps container online for cheap, even on Amazon these days.   Don’t cheap out and use a margarine tub – it's not worth the risk for an otherwise cheap Amazon.com item.  

For disposal?   Contact your local pharmacy or clinic and let them know you have a sharps container for “home use” needles.   For your “diabetes”, or "*mutter*mumble*Use*cough*".   Some clinics and many hospitals are happy to have you drop them off with theirs for free.  

This seems like a lot.   They’re all necessary, eventually.   As are directions to the nearest hospital, first aid training, and all the things listed in my “10 Things New Dominants should be ranted at about” post.   As you gain experience, or rifle through the memory chest of your current experiences, you’ll come up with other things.  

And it all fits in a single bag, without over-stuffing.   Don’t believe me?   I have it all packed in my basement, with my toy kit, in this Galls bugout bag.   I know someone who uses the baby version and somehow makes it all fit (he’s single, so less “stuff”).  

The point is?   Have a bag.   Have it ready.