AKA The Difference between Safety and Stalking. Lots of questions, intelligent ones, about my previous pieces on vetting, “How Does Vetting Work, AKA How Cyber-Stalking Saved Your Life”.   And please, for the love of Pete, keep asking the questions.  I love intelligent questions, even if they disagree with my stance.  It shows that there are people out there thinking, considering, and growing, rather than just flaming.   (I get flames too, and I’m not nearly as delicious as a

I get this comment a lot at shows, and recently just got it on a review ... and I think it's now come to where it bears responding to. Because it has been slowly building from entertaining, to irritating, to now...insulting. We make hardwood paddles and canes, because we love wood. We love working with it, going with the grain, oiling and finishing, staining or lacquering, smoothing and shaping or machining...it's kind of our thing. So when someone looks over it, sneers and m

(or how Cyber-Stalking Saved your Life) Today’s rant is brought to you by the folks who have emailed me asking me how vetting works, and how they can start vetting play partners and other groups.    When I first wrote about Vetting, I assumed that it was common sense.   I ranted blindly (or without my contacts on, anyway) about how everyone should be Vetting their partners, parties, and penis-pin-cushions.    It flew over my (surprisingly tall) head that I once had to be taug

"Vetting: The process, within underground communities, of verifying information about a person through trusted impartial sources. Verified information should (at least) include the person’s experiences, sanity, penis size, STD status, attendance of claimed events, status of vaginal barbering, reputation for outing others, observations of actual skill levels, drama-rating (on a scale of 1 to HELLsNO), breakfast preferences, and humorous anecdotes. " Cassie received a message t

(The ORIGINAL, over 500k likes/loves on blogger, over 30k on K&P, Stolen Shamelessly from Kenova's Member's Only Blog) The best way I’ve heard submission described was at M/s conference in 08. Submission is not following your Master. It is preceding him, clearing the path, and reporting back to him on any pitfalls or problems you see ahead. It is trusting him, to guide and navigate, to keep you safe. The most common way I’ve heard Dominance described uses words that I wouldn’